The Delicious Pumpkin Halwa

Recipe: A Huge pumpkin, 2-3 kilo sugar, 1/2 kilo ghee,


Originally written: 21/05/2014. Posting it unedited. I was intending to fill in the details including an image of how my mom had made an amazing Pumpkin Halwa, the best I ever had in my life.

DREAM

DREAM ::
--> I was at home on the 1st. Had to show the bug in laptop's screen at service center and came to campus by the evening. Also had good amount of sleep already at home.
--> It was a normal evening. Fb, Gmail, Quora and as it was 12 eyes were feeling stressed so I sent you a bbye message and went to sleep but only after reading a few pages of from the new book that I have started reading enthusiastically (The COBRA - Frederick Forsyth).
--> I almost only slept because my eyes were feeling dry and tired. Sweeped of to half sleep and almost full sleep normally but only with some uncomforted mind.
--> So, I don't remember the starting scene of this. I know this sounds totally crazy too but hey this was just a dream.
--> So here it goes ::

                 We are very good friends by now. Talking in person (contrary to the on-line chat), was more prevalent and had a close feeling that one gets from the best friends.
                 So some day you come to me, worried and perplexed as if something was haunting you since some while and wanted to ask me something. You ask me if I wanted to marry you. As confused as I always am, I slide into deep thoughts as to say yes or no. Was it a serious one or not(since she appeared tensed already the possibility of this being not serious whipped off instantly).

Thoughts ran all over innumerable possibilities of answers and it's reactions of her. Though a very few finally made sense and surfaced to being considered. After all these years of knowing each other so well and I knew for sure we would mend with each other the best. My answer, as I wanted to be yes and yes I was a lot more hesitant as I never reached a final conclusion previously whether she was the best match out there for me.

// Unorganised :: 2nd Sept 2014(Tuesday) // night of 1st Sept 2014(Monday)
(Written on 2nd Sept 2014. Unorganized. Just publishing it now on 19-09-2019 without any reviews because somehow I feel there's some old me in this post to look back at.)

Yes Magnets! That's what we all are.

Yup. You read the title right.

Ever left two magnets nearby and see them come together?

Okay, so we get these magnets called snake magnets (refer above pic), which make some funny sound and are fun to play with.

So, here's what I think. We people are also similar to these snake magnets, left a nearby distance tend to be attracted to each other like the magnets which come close and hit each other, they collide and move away, then again due the force of attraction, come back together again and hit again but this time with lesser magnitude and this goes on again and again until it finally stops. At this point both the magnets are stationary and so glued to each other so tightly, that they need a very great force to be separated.

We people are also somewhat similar. Initially from a distance we are attracted, come closer and closer then repel, fight! and move away, come back again closer and fight again but with lesser magnitude, go away only to come back soon and then one day, you just stick together never to be separated apart.
This is the day one should wait for. This is the day one should hope for, for any relationship to be fruitful. Let go off any misunderstandings that come along. Resolve any issues you have with the other person, with him. Have fruitful discussions and most importantly stay calm. Give each other the space and time they need to be themselves. Understanding each other is the most important thing for any relationship.

Everything is changing, this will also change.

"If someone has done something wrong, don’t hold on to it. If a mistake has happened through you, like you forgive others their mistakes, you should also forgive yourself. Forgive yourself and forgive others; don’t chew on others' mistakes or your own mistakes.
When you chew on the mistakes of others, you get angry. When you chew on your own mistake, you will feel guilty and you will drown in your own depression. Both are no good. Spirituality takes you away from all this.
As it is said, to err is human. You make mistakes, but don’t sit and chew on your own mistake or someone else's mistake. If someone has made a mistake you should forgive and forget. If you have made a mistake, you should ask for forgiveness and move on. Don’t get stuck; feel free!
If you are upset with yourself, you can get angry with others very easily. And if you’re angry with others, you will get upset with yourself. Both these positions are not favorable."

"Consider a mistake as just a mistake - not as ‘mine’ or ‘his’. ‘Mine’ brings guilt, and ‘his’ brings anger. A mistake is a mistake. Neither guilt nor anger need to be linked to it. Then, you’ll stop a lot of nonsense from happening."
- H.H. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.


 So make mistakes! It only proves that you still have scope for improvement, that you are still a human and living. Most importantly learn from those mistakes and try not to repeat them. It's okay that once in a while you repeat mistakes, but that doesn't justify your doing. Make yourself a better person from the mistakes you make.
 
Ask for forgiveness by putting out all your ego aside and put your whole heart out. When you ask with your whole heart and consciousness, there will be no regret even from you, nor from the other person to forgive and forget your mistake.

Forgive people, after all, even they are humans just like you. If possible, let it go off your mind, don't even remember it. Remembering others mistakes and holding onto it, only makes things difficult for both of you, just let it go.


-Some thoughts of me. Let me know if you think any edits are needed. I would happily appreciate and welcome if you too have any thoughts to contribute to this.

-Dre@mer.

(originally written about 3 years ago but left it in the drafts. Publishing it on 19-09-2019 for the first time without any re-reads/edits)

BIN BATAYE

Aagaya hai firse samay wahi
Ab hum sar chupayenge aur kahi
Bichadne ka gham toh hai sahi
Lekin us baat ki himmat nahi

Is gham ko tumse baatenge ab nahi
Tumse Milne ki jasbaat ki hai darr wahi
Bin bataye Hume hai jaana abhi
Humko dhoondte tum aana nahi
Humko dhoondte tum aana nahi

Ab Aagaya hai firse samay wahi...


------------------------------------------------
PS: I've written this when I was sleepy, so might not be in best form but I wanted to keep it that way.
edits, suggestions, comments welcome :-)
originally written on: 31st May 2016

DO NOT OPEN

Characters: Amit, Karthika

It was not just another day for Amit, for he had got an excellent idea of gift for the love of his life, Karthika. Like every other time, he decided this one will also be a surprise. He chose to write a letter to give along with the gift. He was so excited about this gift that he was sure that the moment she lays her beautiful eyes on this, she would be swept off her feet.

So he bought the gift, packed it in a box laden with the brightest ribbons and gift wraps he could find. Since it weighed light and had packed it in a big box, he would fill the box with crushed paper balls again of different colors and taped the shining gift to the bottom of box. He had it all planned.

Amit was a fanboy of writing letters in a formal fashion. A little formality never killed anyone right, he grinned to himself and started writing the letter. He also had a plan to put a small but content title to this letter, but had no idea what it should be. However he beginned the letter in his standard fashion.

" Hi Karthika,

               Hope you are doing good. Wishing you a very happy and joyful birthday. May all your wishes come true this year and hope for much more successes to you."

Done, now he has to get to the point, as he had it all planned out. The rest of the letter would be expressing some deep feelings, it was supposed to provide support and emotional boost during the hardest times. He had it all planned out, full of emotions and feelings but fate be so, fell short of words. Even before he started, he stopped and drifted into the endless memories both good and not so good, how he always tried to be the Hero for her. He wished there was a way to communicate more other than mere mortal words, for there's exponential loss of information in words when compared to thoughts, he recalled. Being an ambivert, he was also shy and couldn't convey what he meant most times and would screw up any good chance he had. He giggled to himself how many times, he has spoken words which were entirely different from his thoughts, for he would go to a trance of happiness when around the lady of dreams.

Amit finally brought himself back to the present, after carelessly wandering about in his dreamworld. He would think of so much to write but not know where to start. To heck with it, he thought. Lets just get started and then edit later on.

"This is a gift definitely and only for you to see. But I shall warn you before hand, you open it now and it shall lose its value. This is more than just any materialistic gift. This is the amongst most precious thing God has given me, and now I want you to feel it too. But also, the time should be ripe for you to see this. Now obviously you would be wondering if not now, when? but that's the point of it. You'll know exactly when to open this gift. Open this gift only and only when your heart urges you too. Open it when you are alone and with your thoughts. At first you'll be confused, you might even be upset, but as I said it's more than any materialistic gift. This one shall be with you all the times. This gift will help you drive through all those tough days, even without my presence. In the days of bliss, you'll know how much you love yourself. You can even use this daily as a reminder of the beautiful you, the you which is much much more than the physical appearance, the you which is pure. The part of you, you have shown me, I want you to see into yourself and realise how much more you are than you think.

Whenever I felt low, whenever I felt I needed a person to talk to, whenever something upset me, whenever i felt the urge to share something. Whenever I was happy, whenever I couldn't stay grounded. Everytime, a simple chat with you would bring bliss to me. Just that small conversation at the end of the day would mean a happy ending for the day to me, for I could share anything and everything with you without the fear of judgemental eyes and at the same time get a honest feedback. You are the perfect guide to me. Your instincts keep surprising me every single time. I scold myself for how stupid I could be and wonder how are you so right all the time.

Sometimes, one needs to take a break from the real world. Sometimes, one needs to look deeper. Look deeper into self and you realise how awesome you really are. How much more you can do with just a simple belief in self. Always remember the only person who knows you completely and understands you completely is you. So if anybody deserves another chance, it's you. It's your duty first not to put yourself down and be truthful to yourself. It's okay to fail, but it's not okay to give up without a sincere attempt. I want you to look deeper into the gift, more than physical appearance, find the meaning it signifies, be that. I am unsure of whether I have conveyed completely what I meant or even accurately of what I intended to, but do treat it as a honest mistake and excuse me with that beautiful heart if I wrote something untrue.

Be Yourself. Be Awesome."

Now came the time for the title. He thought about this a lot, but couldn't come up with a meaningful one that would do justice for the amazing gift that he had wrapped. Maybe just about three words would be right. What magical combination of three words would be the best? He goes back to his own dream world thinking of the previous times he had surprised Karthika and the reaction of hers which he knows is an eternal memory to hold on to. Those happy beautiful eyes were shining like never before filled with beam of bliss, they said more than he needed to hear. He was probably the happiest soul on the planet at that moment. Amit then realised Karthika wasn't talking to him that much for quite sometime now after the rough path their relationship had gone through and feared that this gift would be ignored or worse, not even accepted. But after reading this letter? even then? his thoughts then went through memories of all the fun they had during hangouts, those endless walks as they wandered lost into the wilderness of nights welcoming the dawn. All those fights then flashed one after the other. But somewhere deep he knew it mattered more that he sent this gift across and to leave it to fate whether she'll accept it or not more than just abondoning it now. Slowly, he slipped away to a short nap.

Waking up Amit realised he still has to decide on the title. He then shaked the gift box to assure himself he had taped the gift, a medium sized non fancy mirror properly to the base ensuring it won't be affected during the parcel delivery. Now the task lied ahead of him, what will be the three beautiful words to title the letter with. He knew " I love you" wasn't an option anymore. What other words he thought, as he randomly made different combinations. How about "Happy Birthday Karthika!" naah too naive. How about "Take care, Karthika" naah too cheesy. How about ....

After a couple of intense thinking he finally decided on the title and went back to writing once again

"                                                      DO NOT OPEN                                             "


As controversial the title can get. Finally, Amit put it all in three words. Giggled to himself how the title didn't tell what not to open, the letter or the gift. As always he thought, never being able to clearly express in words. Now a proper ending to the letter remains, again with a formal touch.

"Take care,

With love,
You know who"


Yes this is how Amit was.

Beautiful Things

I'll be adding good stories from around the internet. Send me some if you come across some which I can add here.

1) Today, my grandpa keeps and old, candid photo on his nightstand of my grandma and him laughing together at some party in the 1960’s.  My grandma passed away from cancer in 1999 when I was 7.  This evening when I was at his house, my grandpa caught me staring at the photo.  He walked up, hugged me from behind and said, “Remember, just because something doesn’t last forever, doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth your while.” (ref: http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/07/11/25-inspiring-stories-to-make-you-smile )

//I'll be adding more stuff here.

Just Do It!

Do what you want to do. DOT.

It's trying again and again that helps build yourself. Loose the fear of failure! Accept it, embrace it, deal with it and get over it EVERY SINGLE TIME. Be positive and give your total efforts in getting things done. Don't be depressed that you couldn't achieve something or cannot achieve something whatever might be the limitations you have. 

It's always good to accept somethings which are not possible. If there's nothing you can do about it, you cannot do it, but but if there's a slightest of the chances that you can make it, whatever be the odds, just go do it ! Do it the best possible way, get yourself into it and get it done. 

People who stand different from the crowd are the ones who actually step ahead and stand aside. No, literally! if it's what everyone's doing and not being to achieve it, it must be taking SOMETHING MORE, SOMETHING YOU. Yes believe in that, break the prejudice just do it the way you want to do it. If you're successful, great achievement, else you'll have another way to be cautious about in future.

"Kehte hain agar kisi cheez ko agar dil se chaho to saari kayanath tumhe usse milane ki koshish me lag jaati hai.."

Translation: It's said that if you want something with whole of your heart, whole of the universe will be try to help you achieve it.

Do things wholeheartedly and you'll realize how self content you'll feel for having done you best, for giving your whole effort, whatever maybe the outcome. Even if you fail after all this, you'll be happy that you gave your best and there was really nothing more that you could have done. But if you have the slightest thought somewhere deep inside that "No, I could have done it better!" , then go ahead, who's stopping you. Go march forward until the goal is reached and stop when you feel content. 

“Anyone can deal with victory. Only the mighty can bear defeat.” 

― Adolf Hitler 

It's the defeat that teaches you more, more than you can learn in a thousand victories. There's a saying that winning will merely introduce you to the world, but it's the defeat that will introduce you to the world, the rest is your choice.

Life's all about being yourself.